I remember feeling unspecial for the first time in my life. It was back in one of those big GE classes my freshman year of college. I remember getting back my first test grade, an 83%, and crying for the rest of the afternoon. There I was far away from home in a place where I felt that everyone was way cooler, way richer, way cuter, way smarter, and way more disciplined than I was. Just like that, I went from feeling like I was the creme de la creme to feeling like I was a shred of moldy cheese on a slice of Little Caesar's pizza.
That freshman year of college was also the first time I realized how musically disinclined I was. Up until then, I had had a great love for music and for singing. I joined choirs, sang along to the radio, and even aspired to be brave enough to sing a solo one day. It was 2 days into dorm living, that I realized that my family was either saintly or just as tone deaf as I am. {FYI--I decided it was the tone deaf part, not the saintliness.} My kindly roommate would try to harmonize with me and would have to keep stopping because I wasn't singing it right, while my impatient roommate just took to telling me several times a day that I should "keep my day job". While I've never totally given up my dream of singing a solo one day, I've now amended it to singing it at a school for the deaf.
Of course, after a period of adjustment I regained my confidence, put aside my American Idol-esque dreams, learned how to study the college way, and grew to love the wonderful people that surrounded me, but I've never forgotten that sinking feeling of realizing that I was the proverbial little fish in a much bigger pond than I was used to.
Now, as a mother, I reminisce on these life-changing experiences, and wonder how I can relate them to parenting my children. I wonder if it is better for kids to be academically challenged more rigorously, but be bogged down with homework, in a competitive classroom filled with other go-getters? Or is it better for kids to bloom where they're planted, being a top student (and leader) in a less challenging, but more diverse environment?
On the one side I see the value in the challenging academics pushing them to greater heights (like being a year ahead in mathematics), but is it worth it if we're prematurely making them the little fish in the bigger pond?
And what about the educational value of being a leader? Could that not be more valuable than the challenging curriculum?
I don't really know that there is a right answer to these questions and what's right for one child may not necessarily be the right thing for another, but I am curious as to what your opinions are. Do you remember ever feeling like you'd suddenly become a peon? How old were you and how did you deal with it? What do you think is more important for children--the best academics possible? Or possibly less challenging academics balanced with more opportunities to lead?
******************************************************************************
