Seeking Learning and Wisdom and a CFM Activity Sheet for D&C 88 (Aug 17)

  This blogpost features some of my life experiences about seeking learning by study and  faith, including a half-sheet activity page to complement the Come Follow Me (CFM) reading for  August 11-17,  which includes Doctrine and Covenants 88.    Click here for an index and links to my CFM blogposts for other weeks.

*********************

SEEK LEARNING AND WISDOM, BY STUDY AND FAITH

I've tried to make these two verses in the Doctrine and Covenants  a sort of mantra for my life.  

D&C 88:118-119 
And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.  Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God;

This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but there's not a single item listed in these scriptures that comes naturally to me. I daresay that I would even consider most of these traits my weaknesses and  I've had to deliberately work to incorporate them into my life.  But I'd like to think that over the course of my life, I've lived Ether 12:27 many times over (see below) and made some of them my strengths.  

 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.  Ether 12:27

Organizing myself and establishing a house of order is probably something I'll be struggling with my whole life, but one of the areas which I've managed to turn into a strength is to "seek diligently out of the best books and to seek learning, even by study and also by faith."  I used to feel guilty when I took the time to read and when I did read, I would read fluffy things that didn't enrich me, because those were books I could read quickly.   At some point I realized  that I was a better parent/ friend / human when I learned about the world by reading good books and I have definitely  gained much wisdom through life experiences, but even more by reading the words of others.   

TOO MUCH INFORMATION

 In this day and age we are inundated with far more information than we could ever use and one of the greatest challenges we face when seeking wisdom and learning is sorting through this bombardment of information and determining what is of value to our lives and what isn’t worth our time. Seeking wisdom in this overload of information can be a little like searching for the proverbial needle in a haystack unless we can find connections that make it more meaningful. 

LEARNING THROUGH LIFE EXPERIENCES IS EFFECTIVE, BUT OFTEN EXTRA PAINFUL   

Sometimes we make those meaningful connections during our studies and sometimes they come to us through painful life experiences. For instance take this experience from when I was a young child about 4 years old. I did not yet have my own bike and I begged my dad to take me for a ride on his bike. He was reluctant, but after much begging eventually put me up on the crossbar of his bike, carefully held on to me with one arm and steered with the other and took me for a short ride. Although the distance we traveled was not far, it was long enough for me to weary of holding my legs up and for me to let my foot dangle into the spokes of the bike, breaking my leg in the process.

Fast forward a couple of years when the pain of the broken bone had been forgotten and I once again begged my dad to take me for a ride on his bike. My begging skills must have been pretty persuasive, because a little while later we found ourselves reliving the past--right down to the foot in the spoke and the broken bone--although this time it was my collarbone instead of my leg. Two broken bones was enough though and finally we made the connection that two people on a bicycle built for one is a recipe for pain.

This example, though painful to learn, was relatively insignificant in the way of life lessons. While physical safety is important, lessons of eternal nature are far more important in the long run. As with lessons about how to avoid broken bones, we can learn these eternal lessons in a variety of ways. Real life experiences are among the most powerful ways to learn a lesson, unfortunately (and fortunately) there are only so many life experiences one person can have and we must turn to other sources to continue our search for the meaningful connections that lead to wisdom. We must open our hearts in faith and seek them by learning from the words of others, . 

LEARNING--CONNECTIONS -- WISDOM

Most scientific discoveries were made when some scientist put two ideas together and connected them into something bigger. Benjamin Franklin made the connection that lightning and electricity were related and through that connection has saved countless buildings from destruction over the years with his simple but important invention of the lightning rod.

Not too many years after Benjamin Franklin’s earth-shaking connection, an even greater connection was made by a young boy who happened to be studying the Bible in the spring of 1820. He was the kind of young man who didn’t just read the scriptures; he had an inclination to feast upon them, to study them, and to ponder them in his heart. One day he read a passage of scripture from the book of James:

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.  But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed” (James 1:5–6).

Joseph described his reaction in the following words: “Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. … I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God”.

Joseph’s inspired ability to make this connection led him into the Sacred Grove. From thence, he became an instrument in the hands of God in bringing forth modern scriptures, in restoring the true church of Jesus Christ and the gospel in its fulness, and in restoring the power to perform eternal ordinances which enable us to return into the presence of a loving Heavenly Father. Joseph Smith’s connection not only shook the earth, it opened the heavens!

MAKING A WEAK THING INTO A STRENGTH THROUGH LEARNING

While our son  was in the hospital for months on end several years ago, I had the unique opportunity to devote more of my time than I normally could have at home, to reading and to personal study. During that time, the hospital room truly became my Sacred Grove and I was led to devote much of my study time to reading Ensign articles, parts of the Old and New Testaments and the Book of Mormon in its entirety. 

Though that time  was very difficult, it was hard not to feel God’s peace through these experiences and I was so grateful for that  time in a lonely hospital room when I feel like that weakness of mine, truly became a strength.

********************
SOME QUOTES ABOUT LEARNING

“If we let ourselves, we shall always be waiting for some distraction or other to end before we can really get down to our work. The only people who achieve much are those who want knowledge so badly that they seek it while the conditions are still unfavorable. Favorable conditions never come.” 

― C.S. Lewis

“The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you.” 

― B.B. King

“We learn to do by doing.” 

― Spencer W. Kimball

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

“Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it.” 

― Edmund Burke

“Education is the power to think clearly, the power to act well in the world's work, and the power to appreciate life.” 

― Brigham Young

*******************
PRINTABLE ACTIVITY SHEET (AN ORIGINAL)
These activity sheets are designed to print double-sided and cut in half.  They're perfect for reviewing or introducing the content found in the Come, Follow Me reading each week and would be great used in a classroom or home setting.  

THIS WEEK'S ACTIVITY SHEET LINK (in case it's not showing below)

*********************

 

If you like what you see here, be sure to come back every week for more Come, Follow Me thoughts and teaching ideas.  I wouldn't mind if you left me a comment too.  I spend a lot of time on these each week and a little feedback goes a long way to keeping me going!  

 *********************

What Does it Mean to Be Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause? And a CFM Activity Sheet for D&C 58-59 (Jun 8)

This blogpost features some thought and resources about what it means to be "anxiously engaged in a good cause", which could be helpful if you are preparing a talk or a lesson on this topic.  In addition, at the end, there is a half-sheet activity page to complement the Come Follow Me (CFM) reading for June 2-8, which includes D&C 58-59.   These activity sheets are perfect for introducing or reviewing the material for this week.  Click here for an index and links to my CFM blogposts for other weeks.
****************************************

ANXIOUSLY ENGAGED IN A GOOD CAUSE

In D&C 58:27, it reads, "Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;"

This is a scripture we hear a lot in the church and, I’ll be honest, sometimes I’m hit with feelings of guilt when I hear it, because I think of all the good things I’m not doing. But, I’m not so sure that that’s how it’s meant to make us feel, so let’s dive in a little….

I actually really liked the A.I. summary that google gave me on what it means to be "anxiously engaged."

"Being anxiously engaged in a good cause means actively and zealously working towards a positive and worthwhile purpose, often driven by a strong sense of conviction and a desire to make a difference. It suggests a proactive approach, where individuals are not waiting to be told what to do but are seeking out opportunities to contribute and improve the world around them."

It is a pretty good summary, but I’m still left wondering what anxiously engaging in a good cause looks like in our everyday lives? What is a good cause? How can we be anxiously engaged when our life is full of so many distractions?

Of course the answers to these questions are nuanced and partially depend on the current circumstances of our lives, but there are a few universal truths here that can be applied no matter where we are in our journey.

TRUTH #1: FEAR IS NOT FROM GOD.
The word anxious has multiple meanings and I believe that God does not want us to have a sense of fear or foreboding when we are thinking about how we can get engaged in good causes. The definition of anxious we are meant to embrace is “ardently or earnestly wishing; with eagerness.” It changes things to look at that phrase through that lens. We should absolutely eagerly look for ways we can serve and help others, but out of love, not fear or guilt.

TRUTH #2: OUR LIVES ARE FILLED WITH GOOD CAUSES.
At the time I am writing and researching this topic, April 2025 General Conference was just a few days ago, so it was hard not to think of our church leaders who literally live their entire lives dedicated to building up the kingdom of God. It is their calling to be anxiously engaged on a full-time basis. And a few months ago, I sent off a missionary, who is diligently serving the people of Ventura, California. She is also anxiously engaged in serving God on a full-time basis.

Of course, most of us will never have the opportunity to serve in such a full-time capacity as the General Authorities that speak in General Conference. We are everyday people with everyday struggles, like raising kids, holding down jobs, helping out with aging parents, and a million things that can easily take up our time.

And that’s the point.

Raising our kids, supporting our families, dealing with problems that arise, and helping our parents, absolutely are good causes and there will be times in our lives when that is all we can do. And that’s okay. Focus on what matters most, keep your hearts and eyes open for good causes you may be called to be a part of, but don’t feel guilt when your life is the good cause! Taking care of your families and helping them come to Christ is one of the best causes there is!

TRUTH #3: THERE ARE AS MANY WAYS TO GET ENGAGED IN GOOD WORK AS THERE ARE PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.
So many messages in General Conference  included beautiful accounts of people who are "anxiously engaging" in the work. I loved Elder Uchtdorf's account of him visiting a small branch with a nonmember friend and at first being a little embarrassed by the imperfect talks and lessons, then later being amazed when the friend remarked on none of that, but rather commented on how loving and welcoming the members had made her feel. That was thought provoking to me. How often do we worry about making everything as perfect as can be and we lose sight of what really matters? What really matters, of course, is helping bring others (and ourselves) to Christ. Well prepared talks and lessons are a wonderful way to do that, but so is helping people feel loved and welcomed. Each of us is unique and each of us will find different ways to be "anxiously engaged". And there are many good causes that may not be affiliated with the church.

Last, but not least, let’s not forget the verse after, which reads: 
"For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward."  D&C 58:28

That's a powerful promise.  As we allow God to work through us to bring to pass much righteousness, we are promised the greatest gift of all! 

What are your favorite ways to engage in the work?   Feel free to share below! 

*****************************************
I thought this video would be a great accompaniment to a lesson on this topic. 

VIDEO PERFORMANCE OF "HAVE I DONE ANY GOOD IN THE WORLD TODAY": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oih_GBF2u4A



****************************************
PRINTABLE CFM ACTIVITY SHEET

These activity sheets are designed to print double-sided and cut in half.  They're perfect for reviewing or introducing the content found in the Come, Follow Me reading each week and would be great used in a classroom or home setting.   I have no children at home, nor do I have a calling working with youth, so I copy these to be handed out with the sacrament programs each week.  Kids, teens, and adults enjoy them. 

HERE IS A LINK TO THE ACTIVITY PAGE (in case it's not showing below): 



****************************************

BE SURE TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE AND COME BACK EACH WEEK FOR MORE "COME, FOLLOW ME" RESOURCES! 

Enjoy learning the Gospel together!

****************************************

Called to Serve!

Just sharing some good news! 

Our daughter Emma has decided to put her schooling on hold for 18-months to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  She opened her call on Tuesday night and she has been called to serve in the Toronto Canada mission--speaking Spanish! 

We are so excited and proud of her!   Now, if you know of where to buy some good warm clothes for a missionary....let me know!  

Thoughts on Hope

In August of 2017 our family drove to Greenville, South Carolina so that we could be in the path of totality when the solar eclipse arrived. It was a long drive for something that only lasted a couple of minutes, but I will never forget that incredible moment when the crickets started chirping and darkness arrived in the middle of the afternoon. Another moment I’ll never forget was when the moment of totality ended. I put my eclipse glasses back on and looked upward to see that only the tiniest sliver of the sun was showing again, but that tiny sliver was enough to dispel the darkness and bring the daylight back again.

Afterward we had a family home evening lesson and talked about the scripture 1 Nephi 31:20, which reads:

“Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.”

Then we related it to our experience of watching the solar eclipse. How often circumstances of life can make us feel like we’re in the darkness, but when we look to Christ, the source of true hope and heavenly light, He can dispel the darkness. He can take that tiny sliver of hope and help it become the perfect brightness that we seek in difficult times.

A few months later I thought of this experience when I read President Uchtdorf's talk, “Bearers of Heavenly Light”  from October 2017 General Conference.

He said:

“Night is nothing more than a shadow.

Even in the darkest of nights, the sun does not cease to radiate its light. It continues to shine as bright as ever. But half of the earth is in darkness.

The absence of light causes darkness.

When the darkness of night falls, we do not despair and worry that the sun is extinguished. We do not postulate that the sun is not there or is dead. We understand that we are in a shadow, that the earth will continue to rotate, and that eventually the rays of the sun will reach us once again.

Darkness is not an indication that there is no light. Most often, it simply means we’re not in the right place to receive the light….”

I love that.   Instead of feeling overwhelmed and like there is no light when I am in one of the dark abysses in life, I need to start looking for where I can find the light. 

President Uchtdorf, in the same talk,  told us that:

“Spiritual hope and light rarely comes to those who merely sit in darkness waiting for someone to flip a switch. First, we need to start where we are and don’t feel discouraged by how dark it seems. Second, turn our hearts toward the Lord. He is always there. He wants us to feel hope and light. And third, walk in and embrace the light.”

We need action!   Isn't that one of the basic tenets of the gospel?   We need to get up and move.  We need to press forward, searching for that perfect brightness of hope.   What does that look like?   It means putting one foot in front of the other day-after-discouraging-day and turning to Christ.   No matter how far off or small the light may seem, I know that when we turn our hearts towards the Lord, He will always be there to help us feel hope and the pure love and light of Christ.

 As Moroni says in Moroni 7:41:“And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.”

********************************

What brings you hope?  What do you do when you feel hope waning in your life?

A Thing of Beauty

I come from a family of surprisers.  My parents and siblings love to do the unexpected and especially love to plan surprise visits.   They're not as common anymore now that there are lots of kids involved, but there was a time when "dropping in" for a visit, despite living thousands of miles away, was a semi-regular occurrence.    When you've been surprised a lot though, it makes you pretty hard to surprise.  

This past week,  however, our youngest daughter completely and totally surprised us with this beautiful gift she'd been working on for weeks. 

It's a painting she's been working on  in her art class.  She based it on this photo--one of our favorites--from our trip to Uganda.      

It literally took my breath away and I'm still in awe that a child of mine had the artistic capacity to capture such beauty and emotion.   Now we just need to find a place to get it framed...

*******************************

“The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. No matter our talents, education, backgrounds, or abilities, we each have an inherent wish to create something that did not exist before.”  Dieter F. Uchtdorf

0 x 0 -- The Lord's Math

Have you ever asked Siri what 0 divided by 0 equals?

Siri answers something really smart alecky about dividing zero cookies amongst zero friends and cookie monster being sad and whatever. It always made the kids giggle when they were little and usually made me want to make cookies!   :)

But have you ever asked Siri what 0 x 0 =

The answer is not silly at all. The answer is simply just zero. 

But maybe Siri could use an update. Here’s what I propose she says:

“When we put zero effort into something, we get zero blessings from it.”

We have powerful promises given to us by modern apostles that when we engage in sacrificing to center our lives on Christ our entire families will be blessed. These promised blessings range from increased protection from the adversary, strengthened testimonies, and greater light and knowledge from the Holy Ghost. These are blessings that we all could use….no matter what season of life we are in.

By definition, sacrifice means to give up something of value for the sake of something else even more important or more worthy. Sometimes I think we think of sacrifice and we think of big things--like donating lots of money or spending hours and hours on a church calling, but I think that the sacrifices that really matter are the day-to-day ones. The little things we give up to bless our families and to keep Christ in our daily lives.

A perfect example of this is the sacrifice mothers and fathers make to raise their children in faith. That may mean waking up a little earlier than you want to say a prayer with the kids that leave the house first. That may mean not watching that show on Saturday night, so you can finish reading the Come, Follow Me reading for that week.  Or it may mean following a prompting to do something you'd rather not do.

If you will sacrifice what the Lord has asked you to sacrifice, he will make more out of your life than you can.

There are many examples of people all over the world that sacrifice huge things in the name of following Christ. I read an example about members of the church in Sub-Saharan Africa not working their farms on Sunday and somehow finding that their fields are yielding more crops than neighboring farms that are much larger.

In my own family, my parents have given up 2-years of their retirement to serve the people of Paris, France on a senior mission. It is a sacrifice not only of comfort, but also of money, and time away from family and friends. Us kids honestly wondered if they would even be able to get their house ready to rent out for two years, let alone have the stamina to do what needed to be done on a mission. Yet they are thriving. They are being stretched in ways that are blessing their lives as much as the people they’re serving. Their blessings far outweigh the sacrifice they’ve made.

This quote illustrates this point perfectly:
“The Lord’s ways are higher than our ways—and so is His arithmetic. It is different than ours.” (Chad Webb, S&I Broadcast, August 2015)

Yes, it’s true that 0 x 0 = 0 and that if we don’t put any effort to studying Come, Follow Me with our families, we’ll receive zero blessings for it. BUT 1 + 1 in the Lord’s arithmetic is much greater than 2. Christ takes us where we are and makes us more. Makes us enough. He blesses us in beautiful and multitudinous ways that we can barely fathom. CHRIST + ME = ENOUGH

Elder Richard G Scott has said, “Are there so many fascinating, exciting things to do, or so many challenges pressing upon you, that it is hard to keep focused on that which is essential? Satan has a powerful tool to use against good people, those who are committed to a worthy, righteous life, who want to do good and intend to make the most of this life. His tool is distraction. He would have good people fill life with "good things" so there is no room for the "essential ones." Have you unconsciously been caught in that trap?” (Finding Peace, Happiness, and Joy [2007])

What is distracting us? For me it’s often my phone.  It’s a blessing to be able to communicate so easily with my family that live scattered all over the world, but how often do I let myself get sucked into social media or other pursuits that have no lasting value? It’s all about balance.

Sacrifice is a matter of the heart.

Elder Neal A. Maxwell said: “The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. The many other things we ‘give’…are actually the things He has already given or loaned to us.” We can surrender our will to His, and dedicate our lives to building up His kingdom and serving His children.”

And in D&C 64:33 we read, "Be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.”

Let us not be weary in making room for Christ in our lives. It is worth every sacrifice--large or small--to allow those great blessings to come our way.

Favorite Memories from Uganda PART 1

I thought it would be fun to publish a collection of favorite memories from our trip to Africa.    Here are two memories written by two of my kids.   I'll publish more as they come.   :) 

Written by Emma: 
I step off the cool, air-conditioned bus, squinting in the bright African sun. There are a few village kids watching our group shyly as we make our way to the large pile of bricks and begin passing them down our human assembly line. After a sweaty hour or so hauling bricks, I take a quick water break and notice the growing group of kids again, just watching. A few other volunteers and I make our way over to say hi and high-five the little ones. Before I know it, a little girl grabs my hand and we start to throw a ball around, more kids joining in as we play. I see a small baby strapped to the back of his (also young) sister and hold my arms out to hold the baby, hoping the little girl would be able to go play without having to feel responsible for her brother, even just for a few minutes. And a few minutes was all it was before the baby started crying and his sister immediately came back to take him.

The next few hours are a blur of “patty-cake,” nail polish, and “duck, duck, goose.” Everything we do attracts more and more kids to play with us. Others though just sit and watch, laughing at me when I slip every time I run around the circle for “duck, duck, goose.” When I go to rest under the tree, some of the moms come up to me and try to talk in broken English. I can’t understand what they’re saying, but they keep laughing and stroking my hair and my arm, so I think they must have just been wanting to touch a “mzungu”.

As we leave the village, I reflect on what I just experienced. I keep thinking about the joy they have. They don’t have much. Pretty much just basic necessities. That’s why they got so excited even to just get a single crayon and coloring sheet. They didn’t need stuff to keep them happy. They had each other. They had us.


Written by a child who wishes to remain anonymous: 
It's hard to imagine needing to overcome such simple and yet overwhelmingly important obstacles like how to collect enough water for your family or what to do with the baby while you cook dinner; yet unfailingly locals we interacted with approached these with a smile and word of encouragement to us, when by all accounts it should have been the other way around. The particularly strong example of this that comes to mind is a boy who lived in the village where we were building a school. He came up to me and wanted the same things all the other kids wanted- a hug, a shoulder ride, even just a smile or to hold our hand for a bit. But after we had introduced ourselves to all the kids and split off to work on different projects for the day, this young boy followed us around wherever we went and wanted nothing more than to help us with our work. It's so easy to look at the people we were helping and see them based on what they didn't have, but the more time we spent with them the more I realized that the list of intangibles they possessed was not only much longer, but far more valuable.

Stay tuned...more memories to come!  

Valentine's Day 2020

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you dear blog readers!

Are we the only ones out there that aren’t that into Valentine’s Day? When the kids were little, we’d always make the mailbox and send the kids to school with a bag full of valentines to give to their friends.

Awwww, she's so little! 💕 

Sometimes, if it was the weekend, and Glen happened to not have to work late, we would go out for dinner or something. And maybe, just maybe, I might make cookies or buy some candy, but that involves forethought, so that didn’t usually happen either! Historically Valentine’s Day at our house usually ends up looking a lot like every other day with an extra big mess from the valentines’ haul they’d bring home from school. Haha.

2012 Valentine making

 

Today we are being a little more festive than usual. Adam is delivering bucketloads of sugar cookies that he made as a way to raise money for his HEFY trip to Guatemala this summer. He’s a cookie baking whiz kid and it’s his treats I miss most when I’m cutting down on sugar, especially when those cookies are sitting around the house all week. Cookies (and cookie dough) have always been my very favorite dessert. 😜 I am eating sugar today though, so you better believe I ordered a couple of those cookies for me!

This year I even sent a bunch of valentines out to my kids that live far away, as well as my siblings, nieces, and nephews. I counted up over 30 valentines that I sent! Crazy, huh? I’ve always loved conveying my love through the mail and now that it’s such a rare thing to send non-digital greetings, I’m even more obsessed with making sure my loved ones get a token of that love from me in a tangible form they can hold and put in their rooms to see and remember. For most things, I really like my positive feedback, but in this case I don’t really care about receiving anything back; I just like hearing that they’ve received it and it’s made them smile. Of course, I do love the occasional piece of personal mail I may receive too, but it’s so infrequent that I don’t hold my breath for it. Haha!

 

We did get one valentine in the mail this year....thanks, AnnaLisa!


Tonight the kids will go to a multi-stake Valentine’s dance. Our stake in Virginia had dances once or twice a month, so they’ve been missing regular dances since we moved here and they are looking forward to it! The dance is about an hour away from here, so I’m hoping Glen will get off early enough that we can drive together and perhaps even sneak off for a date while they are at the dance. His work has been pretty stressful lately though, so we’ll see…


Speaking of Glen...I am grateful for my valentine! This will be our 27th Valentine’s Day together and though we don’t make a big deal out of it, I do want to take this opportunity to say how thankful I am for his patience and unwavering support with whatever endeavor I set my mind to! Marriage often ends up being a walk through muck and mess, more than a walk in the park, but I'm grateful for Glen to be my walking buddy through whatever mess we're wading through!

Happy Valentine's Day! May your day be filled with warm hugs from those you love, a full mailbox (or texting inbox), and a good dose of chocolate! 💖

25 Inexpensive Date Ideas

In honor of Valentine's Day later this week, here's  a list of some inexpensive date ideas I compiled a few years ago with my young women.   These are perfect for high schoolers, college kids, or anyone who likes saving money!  Almost all of these would be fun as group dates too!   

1. Take a hike together--on a trail or in the city.  Look for a certain bird, flower, or color of house along the way and keep a tally of how many you see. 
2. Cook together--a treat or a dinner item.
3. Photo scavenger hunt --do it together versus another couple.  Here's one I made for a historic part of town near DC.   Here's a general fun one I found online.  
4. Visit a pet store and play with the animals
5. Roast marshmallows and hot dogs over a fire
6. Play a board game
7. Visit a sculpture garden  (scroll down on this site for a list of sculpture gardens in your area)
8. Fly kites on a windy day (find cheap kites at a drug store)
9. Play frisbee and have a picnic
10. Outdoor movie (check for local parks and theaters that might show them in the summertime)
11. Make two different recipes of the same item--maybe chocolate chip cookies--and get people to do a blind taste test and see which one is better (or just get 2 brands of ice cream)
12. Visit a free museum together
13. Go fishing
14. Do a group date and everyone brings a sundae topping to make banana splits.  If you're really brave, get a giant bowl or dish and  have everyone combine their toppings into the "World's Largest Ice Cream Sundae" and then hand out spoons and enjoy.   Make sure to make a time-lapse video of you creating it.
15. Minute to win it games
16. Take advantage of cheaper movie prices on Tuesdays or Wednesdays
17. Letterboxing or geocaching (look it up online to find out more details)
18. Do a lip-syncing contest--this would definitely  be more fun as a group date
19. No-hands spaghetti dinner--definitely an outdoor activity with someone you know pretty well
20. Make homemade ice cream in a bag (here’s an easy recipe: http://recipeshoebox.blogspot.com/2009/07/cooking-with-kids-ice-cream-in-bag.html)
21. Go to the zoo (if your zoo is not free, then see if there's a farm that allows visitors to visit for free)
22. Watch a Bob Ross video and paint pictures
23. Do an exercise video together
24. Go on a bike ride on a trail and get ice cream along the way
25. Each come with a playlist and play “Name that Tune” w

Feel free to comment below with some of your favorite cheap date ideas!  

Getting Off the Hamster Wheel of Perfectionism

I remember in high school sometimes complaining to my parents that I wasn't really good at anything. While a good student, I was far from being valedictorian. While an enthusiastic cross country and track captain, I spent most of my time injured and running the ranks of junior varsity. I couldn't sing solos like the Cottles, I wasn't fashionable or witty, and, heck, I wasn't even that great at making my bangs big.

When I complained about my lack of talents to my parents, they would always dutifully console me and remind me about some of the less visible skills that I had--you know like french braiding my own hair,  eating 3 doughnuts in a sitting, and saying all the books of the New Testament in under 30 seconds. Yeah, I was just that cool.  Later my dad, during one of their pep talks, introduced me to the quote, "Jack of all trades, master of none." Though he meant it as a compliment that I could do many types of things reasonably well, I always thought of it as a sad, but apt description of my abilities.

Now I'm 30 or so years past my high school days and I still find myself occasionally plagued by the same insecurities. I try my darnedest to do all the things I feel like I’m “supposed” to do, but rarely feel like it’s enough. It’s easy to look around and see all of the people who can do x, y, or z better than me.

One day a few years ago, I came across this article on the church website. It was the first time that I even realized that the church website had a blog section with articles written by every day people. This article, called, “The Perfect Lie,” rocked my world in a very real way. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend stopping to read it right now. Even if you have read it, but not for a while, I recommend reading it again. It’s life-changing.

I realized that I had been living my life exactly the way she described in the beginning of her article--going through life with my long-list of things I need to do and if only I can cross enough of those off my list, then maybe I’ll reach some elusive state of goodness or contentment in my life.

The author puts it as the ME + MORE = CHRISTLIKE way of living life.

The problem is, is that that “MORE” list is endless. I want to be MORE spiritual, serve MORE, read the scriptures MORE, be MORE fit, be MORE sensitive to those I minister to, cook MORE healthy food, clean the house MORE, etc. etc. While none of those desires is wrong or bad, the list is truly endless and there’s absolutely no way that I’ll ever be able to do enough MORE to actually be Christlike. It’s a hamster wheel that Satan would love for us to stay on endlessly, because it’s discouraging and unsatisfying in the best of times, but absolutely heartrending when things, out of our control, come and take away our abilities to do even the bare minimum in our lives, yet alone the MORE. Things like poor health (our own or that of a family member), a lost job, a big move, mental illness, a struggling child, or whatever can wreak havoc on our efforts to always be MORE. (PS All those examples I listed are things that we’ve faced in our family.)

But when we change up the equation and instead look for ways to add Christ to our lives, through him we can be ENOUGH. It’s actually a beautiful change.

ME + CHRIST = ENOUGH

It’s a change of semantics, but it’s powerful. When we go through our days and seek for ways to make Christ a part of our days, rather than an item on a to-do list, it changes everything.

I love this quote from the article:

“As I studied Jesus’s life, I realized this was the continuous theme in His entire ministry: taking the weakest things of this earth and using His power to transform them into something miraculous.

Christ never asked us to give more than we have to give. Rather He asks, pleads, and invites us to learn of Him, come to Him, trust Him, and let Him make us more than we are.”

What does making Christ a part of my day look like for me?

It means getting off the hamster wheel of elusive perfectionism, putting away my phone, even if for a short time, and allowing myself to study and feel the words of Christ without distraction. It means sharing with my children  the insights I gain.  It means seeking for more time to be still and know that God is there.  Does it always go smoothly? No way. But I’ve found that as I’ve made Christ a part of my day, rather than an item on a checklist, that he takes me as I am--flaws and all--and, through his grace, I am strengthened to be MORE, and even better, to be ENOUGH.

 ***********************************************

"Brothers and sisters, every one of us aspires to a more Christlike life than we often succeed in living. If we admit that honestly and are trying to improve, we are not hypocrites; we are human. May we refuse to let our own mortal follies, and the inevitable shortcomings of even the best men and women around us, make us cynical about the truths of the gospel, the truthfulness of the Church, our hope for our future, or the possibility of godliness. If we persevere, then somewhere in eternity our refinement will be finished and complete—which is the New Testament meaning of perfection."
Jeffrey R. Holland

Living After the Manner of Happiness

Happiness is not something that always comes easily to me, which is probably why 2 Nephi 5:27 has always fascinated me.

“And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness.”

What does that even mean? I’ve experienced enough hard things in my life that I’m always a little cynical of the whole “follow this formula and you’ll get this result” way of thinking that sometimes gets preached in Sunday School. What if I follow the formula and didn’t get the desired result? Does that mean that I did something wrong? Or that my way of following the formula was not as good as my Sunday School friend did? Or maybe that I don’t actually deserve the blessings in the first place?

Or maybe I’m asking all the wrong questions.

Most of us can easily recite the words to, “I Am a Child of God”, yet do we really believe the words? President Packer said, that “No idea has been more destructive of happiness, no philosophy has produced more sorrow, more heartbreak and mischief; no idea has done more to destroy the family than the idea that we are not the offspring of God”

Sometimes I think we get so caught up in the complexities of life that we do forget that we are literally children of God. He knows me. He loves me. And he absolutely wants me to be happy. That doesn’t mean that I’ll be happy in every moment, but that in the trenches of life when I’m bogged down and not feeling happy, that is when it is most important to remember our divine heritage and to look forward to happiness to come.

I love this quote from Elder Uchtdorf: “My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him.”

Let me repeat that...you matter to Him! He cares about you and your journey.

In 2 Nephi 26:33 it reads, “...he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him…”

President Hinckley said of this scripture, “I believe {that scripture} is saying to each of us, be happy. The gospel is a thing of joy. It provides us with a reason for gladness. Of course there are times of sorrow. Of course there are hours of concern and anxiety. We all worry. But the Lord has told us to lift our hearts and rejoice”

I read that quote and thought back to the time several years ago when our 16-year-old son was living full-time in the hospital for many months. He had an aggressive form of cancer with less than a 50% chance of surviving. Additionally, less than a week after his diagnosis, Glen very unexpectedly lost his job. We were completely blindsided by two enormous life-changing stressors at once and it was hard not to feel overwhelmed with the enormity of what we were facing.



But guess what?

We may not have been all that happy during that time, but we were okay. I never in a million years would want to repeat that experience, but I believe that by “living after the manner of happiness” that we were blessed with an underlying sense of calmness that overcame the feelings of overwhelm. We absolutely went through a lot of really crappy things and didn’t know what amount of even more crappy things might be coming our way, but we somehow just knew in our hearts that we’d be okay. We had no sense of what okay would look like, but whatever the result of Spencer’s treatment and Glen’s job search, that in the end we’d be okay.

And we were.

We struggled mightily along the way (and our struggles are far from over), but even amidst the struggles we had that underlying sense of calm, glimpses of the divine, and a knowledge that God was in the details of it.

So what does “living after the manner of happiness” mean to me?

It means doing my best to live in a way that God can communicate with me, so that I can allow myself to feel his comfort and love, in good and bad times. It means putting one foot in front of the other and seeking for ways to fill my life with beauty, meaning, and love. It means putting aside the distractions for a time each day and looking for ways I can partake of his goodness. It means being vulnerable and allowing people to help me when I’m struggling. It means seeking for ways to build and support those around me who may be struggling more than they appear. It means remembering when I'm not happy, that happiness will return...eventually. It means being mindful and recognizing God’s hand in my life. And it means remembering who I am and trusting that God wants me to be happy.

 What does "living after the manner of happiness" mean to you?   I'd love to hear what's on your mind.

****************

SOURCES:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2011/10/you-matter-to-him?lang=enghttp://www.byui.edu/devotionals/elder-jeffrey-r-holland
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/marlin-k-jensen/living-manner-of-happiness/

The Choice: Embrace the Possible

When I was young, I was a bookworm.  I devoured any book I could get my hands on and felt like I was pretty well-read for someone my age.   But then there were several years of my life when I felt like I was too busy with raising the kids to find time to read a book.   I would guiltily read the occasional light read on a trip or something, but for the most part I just didn't read much for a number of years and I missed it.   

I remember going to a RS evening meeting during that time and a woman with young kids sharing how making time to read was something that kept our brains active and engaged.  Intuitively I knew it, but I wasn't living it.   Her comments awakened in me a desire to read and I left that night with a resolve that I would join the ward book group and strive to read one book a month.

That resolve changed everything. 

That was probably 12-years ago or so, and I have kept to that resolve pretty faithfully since then.  I occasionally miss a month here or there, but these days I usually read more like 2-3 books a month.  To be totally honest, these days, a good portion of the books I "read" I actually listen to as an audiobook.   I'll have to tell you about my favorite site for that sometime (it's not Audible).

I used to mostly read fluffy, fun reads, but lately I've found myself seeking depth and meaning.    This past year I read several thought provoking books that rocked my world and changed my perspective. 
This is one of them: 

 "The Choice: Embrace the Possible" by Edith Eva Eger. It's a memoir written by a Hungarian Holocaust survivor who is still living. I found myself entranced by her story of healing and hope.  She got past the horrors of her past by reinventing her life, going back to school, and helping others to heal.  There's a good dose of psychology in it, something I love reading about, and I really was inspired by her energy, her ability to overcome, forgive, and help others to do the same...all the while being true to herself and to the pain she'd experienced.   I also love that she tells her story all the while validating that we all have our own "concentration camp" experiences and mindsets that hold us back.

I was so rocked by it, that I bought and sent copies to all my kids that live away from home.    If you read it, send me a note.  I'd love to hear what you thought of it too!

“We cannot choose to have a life free of hurt. But we can choose to be free, to escape the past, no matter what befalls us, and to embrace the possible.”  Edith Eger

*************************

*This post contains affiliate links. This means that a special tracking code is used and that I may make a small commission on the sale of an item if you purchase through one of these links. The price of the item is the same for you whether it is an affiliate link or not, and using affiliate links helps me to maintain this website and support my family. 

An Update on Our Family

For the last several years I have been immersed in the world of homeschooling the kids and keeping busy with church callings, family,  and life.   Blogging has taken a back burner and I've missed it.  With only two kids left at home now, though, I am feeling the call to blog again.   I've got lots of ideas and am trying to figure out the best way to bring this blog back to life. 

Is there anyone still out there?  It's been a long time since I've posted anything more than CFM printable or YW idea, so, before I delve any further,  I thought I'd give you a little update on our family first.   

My oldest, Spence, is 24-years-old.  He's had a rough road since his cancer diagnosis when he was 16, but he's doing okay now, figuring out his life, and living and working in Utah. 

My oldest daughter, Cami, is 22.   She served a mission in Lyon, France (2016-2018) and married her sweetheart in the SL Temple shortly after finishing her mission.   Her and her husband, Garrett, are going to school in Austin, Texas, where she still bakes cakes to earn money.   Our son-in-law served his mission in the Netherlands and is in medical school.  

My next daughter, Emma, is 19 and a freshman at BYU in Provo.  She is still figuring out what to major in and is working on her mission papers right now.    She loves singing and all things music and is the queen of making foods healthier.   

I've only got two kids left at home, both of whom I am still homeschooling.  

Adam is 17 and a junior in our family high school.   He runs cross country, plays rugby, and is a cookie baker extraordinaire.   He loves math and science, and is hoping to be an engineer someday.  

Ellie is 14 and a freshman in our family high school.    She sees the world through a creative lens and loves art, dance, and all animals.  I have no idea what she wants to be when she grows up, but I imagine it will be something that will either have something to do with animals or something that engages her creativity.  

What about me? 

I went through some rough years after Spencer's sickness.   I battled some PTSD and depression, gained a bunch of weight, and in general struggled with my physical and emotional health.   Somewhere along the way, I came out of the cloud, lost 50-lbs, and got my life to a better place.

And our family?    

After living in the DC area for nearly 20-years, we recently moved to the Philadelphia area for Glen's job.  It was a HUGE move for our family, but it was just the change of scenery that we all needed and we are enjoying being the new "kids" for now.   We have no idea how long we'll be here and anticipate that the next few years will likely bring more change and more moves.  I have mixed feelings about entering  this nomadic phase of life with the kids as old as they are. 

 

So, what do you think?   I'll keep posting the Come, Follow Me activity sheets, but are you interested in my thoughts on parenting adults and teens?   Do you want to hear about life?  Our travels?  My journey to health?  Are you interested in the occasional new recipe discovery?   Or are you done with blogs?   Should I create an Instagram page to keep you up to date and let you know when I post?    Now's your chance to tell me what you're looking for!   I look forward to hearing from you!

******************************

2019 Book List

Hey friends! I've decided to start posting on this blog more often. I'm even thinking of recombining my family blog with this one, just for simplicity's sake. We will see if I can figure out the details of that. haha.

So, I decided it would be fun to keep a record of all the books I read this past year. Most of them were listened to as audiobooks, but considering I was selling a house and moving to a new state during a good chunk of the year, I'm pretty happy with my 29 books for 2019. Have you read any good books lately? Is there anything I should add to my to-read list?

If I were to recommend one book from the past year, I would say to read "The Choice: Embrace the Possible" by Edith Eva Eger. It's a memoir written by a Holocaust survivor who is still living. I was inspired by her story of healing and hope. Watch her TedTalk to get a glimpse of her spunk and inspirational message. Happy reading to you all!

Books marked with asterisks** were favorites of mine.   

JANUARY:
"In the Kingdom of Ice: The Grand and Terrible Polar Voyage of the USS Jeannette"  by Hampton Sides
**"Before We Were Yours: A Novel" by Lisa Wingate
"The Problem of Pain" by CS Lewis

FEBRUARY:
"The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer" by Siddhartha Mukherjee

MARCH
**"A Place for Us: A Novel" by Fatima Farheen Mirza
"The Secret Lives of Color" by Kassia St. Clair

APRIL:
**"A Gentleman in Moscow: A Novel" by Amor Towles

MAY:
“Evicted: Poverty and Profit in the American City” by Matthew Desmond
"Little Men (150th Anniversary Edition): Illustrated Classic" by Louisa May Alcott

JUNE:
**"Where the Crawdads Sing:  A Novel" by Delia Owens
"When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi

JULY:
**"Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption" by Bryan Stevenson
**"Beneath a Scarlet Sky: A Novel" by Mark Sullivan

AUGUST:
"Becoming" by Michelle Obama

SEPTEMBER:  (this is when I started reading with the kids for the new school year, so we picked up the pace here)
**"The Choice: Embrace the Possible" by Edith Eger
**"The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom
"Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl" by Anne Frank
"Number the Stars" by Lois Lowry
"A Girl Named Zippy" by Haven Kimmel

OCTOBER:
"The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life, Freedom, and Justice" by Anthony Ray Hinton and Lara Love Hardin
"The Bronze Bow" by Elizabeth George Speare
"The Old Man and The Sea" by Ernest Hemingway

NOVEMBER:
"7 Tipping Points That Saved the World" by Chris and Ted Stewart
"I Heard the Owl Call My Name" by Margaret Craven
**"The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind: Creating Currents of Electricity and Hope (P.S.)" by William Kamkwamba
"Fever 1793" by Laurie Halse Anderson

DECEMBER:
"Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption" by Katie Davis
"Book of Mormon" (currently reading for the 2nd time this year)
“The Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America's Shining Women”  by Camron Wright


ON MY SHORT LIST TO READ SOON:
"Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind" by Yuval Noah Harari
"Resistance Women: A Novel" by Jennifer Chiaverini

"A Long Walk to Water: Based on a True Story" by Linda Sue Park
"The Orphan Keeper" by Camron Wright

"Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" by Atul Gawande


*This post contains affiliate links. This means that a special tracking code is used and that I may make a small commission on the sale of an item if you purchase through one of these links. The price of the item is the same for you whether it is an affiliate link or not, and using affiliate links helps me to maintain this website and support my family.